What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.ģ9: God gave us the brain to work out problems. Usually it sounds weird to even say their real name.ģ5: IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.ģ6: A wife is like a boomerang – the harder you throw the faster she comes back.ģ7: Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it’s getting interesting, they’re finished until next time.ģ8: The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.ģ4: Some people only gets called by their nicknames. It’s worse when it doesn’t end after the end.ģ0: Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things.ģ1: Here’s to alcohol, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems.ģ2: I love my life, but it just wants to be friends…ģ3: A woman has the last word in any argument. Don’t worry, this will only take a minute.Ģ8: I named my hard drive ‘dat ass’ so once a month my computer asks if I want to ‘back dat ass up’.Ģ9: The end of a relationship isn’t the worst thing. That was free.Ģ0: There were plenty of lookers-on but no witnesses.Ģ1: There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.Ģ2: Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?Ģ3: Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.Ģ4: If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea … does that mean that one enjoys it?Ģ5: What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need…A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.Ģ6: That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is ‘act natural, you’re innocent’.Ģ7: I am busy contemplating my future. Some of them even look like people.ġ2: Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.ġ3: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.ġ4: The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.ġ5: You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.ġ6: I childproofed the house… but they still get in!ġ7: Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you’re at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?ġ8: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.ġ9: The last airline I flew charged for everything. That’s why I’m in your house.ġ1: Stupidity comes in all shapes and sizes. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.ĩ: All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society’s way of preparing you for your driver’s license photo.ġ0: I wanted to thank you personally for the like. So check this list of funny wisdom and philosophy lines and enjoy.ģ: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.Ĥ: If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.ĥ: Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it.Ħ: A procrastinator’s work is never done.ħ: I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.Ĩ: You do not need a parachute to skydive. We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. Additionally, we also have inspirational quotes from leaders across the world. You may also like funny one liners on money and life lesson one liners as a good read. These hilarious jokes are short, witty, and enjoyable! Huge collection of funny one liners about life and philosophies that are really funny to read.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |